With my left hand… someone told me I should try expressing thoughts by writing them out with my left hand.

What is forever

There are so many things that are forever in someone’s life.  What can you safely take for granted, and what must fight for, protect and cherish?

My memories need to protected.  They are me.  My skin, I hope it doesn’t go away, but I definitely take for granted it will always be around.  Forever, to me, does not mean until the universe perishes.  It is what I will be present for my entire life, and maybe  my kids life.  I get easily overwhelmed thinking about something that has or could be around for 1000’s of years.

So what do I want for ever?   To be able to move and feel nature around me.  To have a healthy relationship with everyone who is close to me, especially my husband and kids.  To feel free to express myself, be it with my voice or in art – and to have those expressions be considered and respected.  To contribute to my community: be actively trying to make it more connected, supportive and vibrant.

The weird thing is – I am embarrassed to write all this down.  God forbid someone might read it.  Or know that I think about it in a creepy, creative, spiritual way.  Hmmm – part of me (evidently a big part) feels like being successful in the rat race of our society is more important than throwing the shackles off and pursuing one of these cool paths for the sake of passion and happiness.

I like to be connected and respected by as many people as possible – and maintaining that balance means keeping one foot in many different arenas.  Hippie, computer geek, gardener, right wing know it all, animal trainer, mother, partier, nature lover, jock, yoga practicer, adrenaline seeker, corporate flunky….  I don’t want to embrace one for fear of losing a connection to another.  Is that a talent or a chain?

What about the flipside?  What will I forget?  Everything I do at work that involves any kind of repetition (and there is lots of it).  All the names of people who didn’t make an impression on me.  Most of what I say in my debates and discussions with everyone, I don’t remember.  Interesting – it is the stuff I spend 90% of my waking hours doing.

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