One door closes, many others open.  As a new self employed business woman, the ideas, the energy, and the plans whirling around me are exhilarating and overwhelming.  Be warned, this posts rambles on a little bit.

There are many people out there who are ‘serial entrepreneurs’, starting one business after another with determination and ultra-confidence.  Some ventures (most?) fail, some succeed, the proprietors appear to make a living.

What about the other kind of people who start their own business?  The ones who see a need they think they can fill.  Or those feel a desire to be close to the ground and see their work’s impact first hand.  But they don’t have that innate persistence to keep trying and trying.  They aren’t in it just for the sake of ‘being their own boss’ – there are different drivers, less type-A personality and more tentative decisions.

I feel awkward at ‘almost 40’, entering into this world.  I envision myself spreading out into the community and tapping into peoples needs.  My goals are: to use as many of my strengths as possible, keep focused on my desire to make the world a better place by connecting people, have fun, make it an adventure and to spend lots of quality time with my family.  I am trying to visualize this with as much clarity as possible – hoping a clear vision will compensate for the huge gaps in my experience in business start-up.

I am scared of all the ideas and enthusiasm around me.  How do I tap into people’s strengths without being overwhelmed by them?  How do I maintain focus without being stupidly blind?  And now that the rubber has hit the road, is the amount of income still low on the list of priorities (given a certain minimum, of course)?  How do I maintain persistence in the face of opposition?  Ugh – there are sooooo many questions and so little certainty.   I know I signed up for this and I believe that I will successful, but it seems daunting.

When I look at the information out there on starting businesses,  It is all about cash flow and marketing plans.  I have found countless websites and books with lists of business ideas and how to implement them.  It is presented as this simple formula that you just need to follow.  Perfect for someone who just wants to be there own boss and autonomy is their only goal.

But what about the obscure ones.  The stories filled with inexperience, lofty goals, mistakes and successes.  That is what who I am looking to for inspiration.

As I dream about what the future holds, as much as I want to read about how someone else doing it my way and succeeding, I know my inspiration needs to come from within.  How did I get so lazy that I have stopped inspiring myself – where does that go?  And now that I am finally forcing that part of me to WAKE UP – it seems broken.  Is it like my flabby, post-kid belly?  My stomach muscles stop working and know I have chronic back pain.  I try to engage them again, maybe even do a few sit-ups, but everything hurts more the next day.  Now I have a commitment to running and yoga, and it all seems to be slowly re-engaging the way it should be.

So what would be the parallel for my business confidence and inspiration as running and yoga is for my core muscles?  I need to dream more, write more.  I have been meditating more, smiling more.

I am at a loss how to tie this article up – oh well, post it and write more later 🙂