Sometimes I love the capitalist game of money, career and the feeling of getting ahead. For most of my adult life, this part of me has had the biggest voice. I need to look at the numbers on paper and go for the decisions with the best financial outcome.
I was brought up in upper class circles – I went to a private high school, I did another year of private school in England then got my BSc from McGill. My family took it for granted that I would get a good job and succeed in the north american society. If I have a continuum of persona’s, this one would be furthest to the right – and it is quite a ways over.
There is a subtle caveat though – I am not motivated by money. Career success and financial success are just indicators that I am winning the game. I have no desire to accumulate money to buy stuff, I just like to see the numbers and the titles grow. But it is also the part of me that is the strongest critic – keeping me in safe roles, when really I want to bust out, ditch the shackles of being financially responsible and try something new.
My capitalist personality doesn’t like to take too many risks and likes to analyze the numbers a lot before jumping in with both feet. This is also the side of me that is proud of my prestigious schooling and family history. I know how to make business connections and feel comfortable in the old boys club.
It is this side of me which makes me feel ‘split’ – because it is home to some of my strongest opinions and it is almost always at odds with the rest of me. Labeling this persona and learning to treat her as a consultant amongst the group really makes sense to me and helps me to give all my opinions context.
The strongest values here are: connections are everything, after that, make sure you have done your research and know the financial possibilities of any decision (almost paralysis by analysis – but I am ok with that)